Sawadeekah tu khon! (hello everyone!)
On Friday, we had outreach. The evening was incredible. I could never have come close to imagining what God did in just one evening! We went into the Nana Entertainment plaza and entered into the bar. I have been talking with one woman in there for 6 months (except for the 2 months I was at home). Her name is Nok. She told me last Tuesday, that her sister had died. She was unable to go to the funeral because she had no money. Her sister had been taking care of her son. Nok had been working in the bars the past 6 months to get money for her sons education. He had just turned 5 and entered school. Now that her sister had passed, her son is living with her in BKK. It makes me wonder though, who is watching her son while she works? She has no family in BKK.She avoided my question, when I asked. She was still grieving her sisters death. I listened to her tell me how she had cried and cried when she found out. She sat beside me in her string bikini, with tears in her eyes. My mind was swirling with the grief I saw and the defeat she was describing. She had come the last 6 months, been away from her dying sister, her son and for what? She had sold her body to provide for her son and she has made little to no money in 6 months. Her sister is now gone and her parents are still expecting her to provide for them.
Songkran Water Festival is a much anticipated holiday in Thailand. Bangkok almost shuts down during this festival. The shops and vendors are shut down and the streets are filled with people throwing water in a huge water fight! BUT, the foreign men still demand the bars be open, the woman still be able to be bought. SO, the bars stay open. The woman are not allowed to leave. To participate in a festival that means so much to their heritage and culture. Nok told me that she could not go anywhere to celebrate.The bar owners would cut 1000 baht from her salary if she went. This adds sadness to her eyes as well, because most woman would go home to celebrate--she would have seen her sister one last time.
Nok has cried many times while we visit; explaining to me that she "no have customers". She has to take 10 customers a month. The maximum she has been taking is 3. For everyone customer that she does not get a month of the 10 quota, 600 Baht is cut from her salary. Of course, I'm glad that she doesn't have to take so many men. However, my heart breaks because I know that the pressure of that reality for her weighs her down. The invisible chains of debt bondage has kept her here for 6 months already--she has no sign of hope.
Nok pointed to the stage that is front of the door. She says "they are 16. no have school". She's explaining to me that the entire stage of girls are 16 yrs old. They have school break and come to work in the bars to be able to afford their school uniforms! This is SO messed up! In order to go to school, their parents have sent them to work in the bars to make money for their uniforms! Just as I am watching the girls, I see a man in his early thirties walk in. He has a duffle bag on his shoulder; it is obvious that he has a large camera in the bag. He sits on the stool by the stage and looks up the skirts of the young girls. he grabs one girls hand and she crouches beside him. Another server brings him a beer.. he doesn't acknowledge her.. I realize he didn't even order. They know him. They know him well. The girl agrees to come sit beside him when she is done dancing. He finds a seat. She finishes and goes to speak with him. He chugs his beer and takes her upstairs to a "short-time" room. I know this because, the man did not call a mamasaun over to pay the bar fee, the girl did not go change into her 'street clothes" to leave with him... they just left...and no one was alarmed. I watched everyone "turn a blind-eye". I'm sick... I know what's happening and I can do nothing. He's going to tape her. Child pornography. Nok sees my face and asks me if I'm ok. I tell her no--I know what he's doing. My heart feels sick. Nok puts her hand on my knee and squeezes. She's now consoling me... I looked at her and hugged her. She tells me she has to go dance and makes me promise to not leave before she is done.
On Friday, Nok was in a better mood. It saddens me because she is happier because there are more customers in the bar. however, She stayed with me the whole time I was in the bar. She didn't compete for the male customers. She snuggled up to me and talked with Amy and I. She laughed and told us that she was having a good night. She was still sad in her heart though she explained.. we asked her why and she said she missed her sister. We made small talk and then Nok excused herself to the restroom. She came back and asked if Amy and I would pray for her. We had prayed for her in the past, and were delighted to do so again. There is something SO amazing about praying in the bars. Girls watch, and wonder what you're doing. When we were finished the other girls ask Nok what was happening. Nok explains that we bless her and she feels warm. ;)
I long for Nok to leave the bars.. she says she is going to stay until the end of the year and then her parents have requested that she come home and physically take care of them. She says she can't wait , because it means she no longer has to work in the bars.
We leave, feeling already quite overwhelmed with the mercy of God... but God has MUCH MUCH more in store for us that evening.
We walked towards the Grace Hotel, where many trafficked woman hang out. It didn't take us long to run into 2 of the African women. One of them we have chatted with multiple times, the other I had met last Tuesday, but she was quite standoffish. She had just arrived and was not familiar with us. I am sure she wondered if she could trust us. This time, she looked very stoic and deeply sad. Annie sat down beside her and Amy had already begun to talk with her. She didn't look up but forcefully said "I'm ok, but I need a bible!" Most of the African women know we hand out bibles if they would like one and they always want one! Word travels fast that we have them. We often pray with the African women on the streets. They are Christians and pray together before they go out each evening. We all glanced at each other and smiled... Annie tells her that she felt God tell her to bring a bible with her, but she didn't obey. So, if she wanted one tonight, we'd make sure she got one. The African woman, simply states "I really need a Bible." We said alright and arranged to meet her in front of a Hotel not to far from NightLight. Amy noticed that her watch was still on Ugandan time... my heart sank as she changed it to meet us by 10:45. She was holding on to a bit of her home...
We began our trek back to NightLight to bet the Bible. We got two bibles and waited by the hotel for her. She didn't show up. So, we decided that we were not going to let this go easily. Amy and I crossed the street to look for her. There is an arabic community and African community in some of the sub-sois. Annie and the Swedish lady who was been joining us for outreach, stayed back in case she still came to the hotel. The swedish lady is new to bkk and is not a Christian. She felt strongly that she believes in the philosophy of NightLight and wanted to join our outreaches. Annie said it was ok as long as she joined us for our prayer time. She agreed but told Emily that she was afraid it would be hypocritical of her. None of us feel like that would be true, but we do believe that she needs to be a part of our prayer time for covering before we go out. She has been coming for a few weeks now and really enjoys the prayer time--she told me she finds it relaxing. She is comfortable at outreach and has been enjoying it. She is enthusiastic each week! I LOVE the way that God has arranged for her to be with us and is working on her heart too. I watch her soak it all in and come back for more.
So.. Amy and I come up empty handed and returned to annie and the swedish woman. we decided not to give up still--we felt strongly that we were supposed to find her. I ALWAYS go with the feeling.. just keep walking and looking.. God has a plan. We walked back through the arab-african neighborhood. As always, there were many children running barefoot through the streets, begging. one by one, they grab our hands and we walk and play with them for a moment. Amy decided to buy them orange juice, so we stop and chat, play and hug them for just a moment. I look around and have one of those surreal moments again "here I am, thai children in hand, surrounded by Arabic and African people, on the street of bangkok, many languages being spoken around me. I imagine the feet-- the "stories" and lives that have walked where I am, the lives the have crossed at this very point, the joy, the pain.. evil and good that are represented all around. my eyes fill with tears and I praise God for bringing me to this exact point and place in life. i beg him to radiate from me, to increase my wisdom and discernment in this place. I ask God what he wants me to do, what difference do you want me to make, is this it? it's pretty amazing--but I want more! I'm jolted back into reality as we are ready to continue our search for Marissa.
We rounded the corner and ran into 4 African women. We knew two of them. We asked if they new Marissa 'the new girl'. One said she did and would give her the bible. I gave the second one to Rita and she hugged it to her like I had just given her the most precious gift. The other two women wanted one and Annie promised to "bring a truckload" the next time!
We then did run into Marissa a ways down the street. we explained that they had her bible for her. Marissa was with yet, another African woman. She asked for one too. WOW, we did not bring enough. We arranged to meet her next Tuesday with more Bibles.
Continuing on--we ran into two more African woman. Annie knew Camilla and I knew Maria. Camilla has quite the presence and she has her big bottle of beer in hand and in a joking yet with much attitude way, she says "Where's my bible?! You said you'd bring me a Bible. Everyone else has one and I don't. I really need a Bible!" Annie tries to explain that she has not seen her in quite sometime and we ran out tonight. but if she wanted one, she could come with us back to NightLight and we would get her one. She was hesitant to walk that far (her feet already hurt because they have to walk all night in high heels looking for customers). I hear her say to Annie, "Well ok, if it's for God, I guess I can do it." While Camilla is figuring this all out, I am talking with Maria. Maria immediately hugged me and dropped in my arms. She wanted to be held--I'm in awe. She can barely stand. I was holding her up. I hug her with all I have and tell her I love her. She looks at me embarrassed and I ask her what's wrong. She tells me that while I was in America she had gone back to Uganda, but she returned to Bangkok. I tell her how sad that makes me that she had to come back. She tells me that her 5 CHILDREN need money to go to school and that this is her only hope. A woman in Uganda "sponsored" her return. So she "just" has to pay her off and make enough for her children's school this time. I didn't ask her how much she had to pay her "sponsor" but I know in the past, woman have payed off as much as $20,000.
We head back to Nightlight and I over hear Annie say, in Thai "it's ok, they are friends of ours." I look back at her confused. She later explains that a Thai vendor tried to stop her from going with "those women". OH, we must confuse everyone around us! I love it. I look back at the Swedish visitor to see if she's ok... we've already had quite the night! I see Annie laughing with her and asking her if she ever imagined she would be running around the streets of bangkok handing out Bibles! She exclaims, "never!"
We start down the street towards NightLight and I notice that Annie and Camille have stopped behind us. Camille is rushing to finish her beer and she sets against the wall. Later Annie said that Camille had stopped in her tracks and stated "i WILL NOT take beer to church!" She had stopped right before Jai samon church--where we have our morning worship--Camille knew it was a church and she refused to even walk on the grounds with her beer. Annie said it best "how funny that we are strict with ourselves about one sin, while blatantly participating in another."
We finally arrived at NightLight and Camille immediately fell into a chair and breathed a sigh of relief. Maria barely made it into a chair and you could see the worry on her mind. She didn't want to sit down, but she could barely stand. She was worried about not getting a customer that night. Her sister had called and told her more bad news and more needs for money. She asked me for water--I went to get some and Annie went to get the bibles. Camilla asked for 3 bibles total... she then asked for a marker and Amy handed her a pink pen. Camilla began to inscribe in the bibles "to...God Bless you.. These bibles are from NightLight..love Camilla." Camilla could not contain her happiness. She kept exclaiming "thank you, I am so happy! The word of God is so precious. More than anything. More than any amount of money!" She then began to tell us that she had a customer that "did bad things to her, he was a horrible man. evil." She began to tell us how one of her African clients had made her cut herself and him and drink the blood. She cringed at the memory and opened her Bible. She said that she loves Psalms. She reads Psalms 140-145 ALL the time. She said that when this man hurt her--she prayed psalms 140-145 for seven days. God would deal with him.
We continued to talk about Africa, and faith. Annie began to sing an African song--Camille then sang one in her language--a gospel song. She started to sing "God will make a way where there seems to be no way." we joined her and continued signing when Camille was too choked up to finish. Camille has a 4 year old son and maria has 5 children--two sets of twins. Maria wanted to know if we could help her find a sponsor for her daughter to go to school. we told her that we have contacts and will try to help. I hear Camille tell Annie "you keep saying Camille, stop this..I pray for God to give me something else, to give me strength."
My heart breaks at their reality.. the bondage. But I am humbled by their devotion to God, He is their hope. Their faith pales my own.
Camilla is loving this time to escape and worship. She states "it's so peaceful here.. no whoosh , whoosh as the cars scream by and the people!" I tell her that everyone needs peace, rest. I tell her she is welcome any time. We discuss going to where they all live one day and worshiping with them here in bangkok. they are in agreement and very excited!
Camilla, quickly states that yes, we can come visit her, but we should pray now! She then turned to the Swedish woman and said 'would you lead us in prayer?" I loved it--I know she was a bit uncomfortable--but I was letting God stir her heart. She was shocked and said "I don't pray so much".. and then Annie stepped in "let's pray. " Camilla instructed us that in Africa, they get on their knees to pray. So we all did... Camilla cried and prayed "oh daddy, oh daddy, oh daddy oh father.. cleanse me, forgive me.. make me pure." Maria, prayed, but was worried she was losing customers...you could see the turmoil. It was a beautiful time in the Spirit. I reached for their hands and Camilla grabbed mine so tight it almost hurt. but I would never ever let go. I cried out to God "save them lord, make a way, save your children, they love you so... make away!"
we finished and Camilla tells us how much she loves this time and that she loves us. We tell her we love her too and she says that "I want to give out the Bibles and tell people about God, That's my calling, to witness. it's the best thing you can do, to give the gospel." I think to myself, she is witnessing to me-- evangelizing from her identity in Christ, not her identity that sin has tried to brand her with."
We head back into the darkness..but they are carrying the light. And where light enters, darkness can not stay! She has been cleansed! I pray that she will just go home, that she will be so filled with the peace of Christ, that she will hold on to her identity in him and go home to rest.
So, this is my life. my awesome life. my God given, Christ divine-destined life. Most of the time I'm in shock--and I am eternally grateful to be his servant. Thank you Lord for using me and giving me the honor to be with these woman, your precious children. I see how God orchestrated this meeting--they are believers--they know what they are doing is wrong--and God wants us to join them to worship him, to bring reminder that he is still with them and he wants to see them leave this life of bondage. bangkok is filled with evil that wants to rob them of the hope they know, to harden their hearts to God, to lie to them--that God has forgotten them. Evil whispers lies, that they are only worth this life of pain and sacrifice--but God has sent us to keep the light around them!
This is long.. but if you actually made it this far, i thank you for taking the journey with me.
I love you, Grace and Peace
Lynds
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